Marika's Story

This is David's speech from the Celebration of Life.



I would like to thank each and every one of you for being here to help celebrate Marika’s life. It is a daunting task trying to condense 70 years of action-packed living into 10 minutes, and obviously there will be all too many omissions.

I am getting some help. Marika’s sister, Gyöngyi, will add some family insights, Mary Baldwin will deal with her academic career, and Annelie Johnson will speak about her artistic endeavours.

First, a little context. Marika was born in Budapest on December 4th, 1937 to Martin and Sara Gosztonyi. She was loved and cherished from the beginning, and had the advantages of an upper-middle class upbringing for a while. All too soon, life was disrupted by World War II. Life became quite difficult, and when Gyöngyi was born on September 16th, 1942, the operating room lights went out due to an air raid. They survived the war and its various trials and tribulations, and eventually the Russians fought it out with the fascists in Budapest, and one result was the destruction of Martin Gosztonyi’s office. For a few years, some semblance of normalcy returned. Although gifted intellectually, during this period Marika detested school. Being very intelligent she was totally bored in large classes doing rote learning. Conformity was never her style.

The next major event in Marika’s life was the 1956 Hungarian uprising. She thought, “NO, not again!” At 19, she and some others were escorted over the Hungarian border at night with a guide who was able to succeed in avoiding military patrols wanting to stop this type of activity.

She was delighted to leave Hungary to stay nine months in Stockholm with her father’s brother Charles, who was a very successful violinist and had 3 children of his own. It was at this time that a family Swedish connection was established which has endured to this day. After that, it was on to Montreal and, eventually, one big winner was your truly! We met on March 14th, 1964 at a Welsh party that we both came close to missing. Fortunately we went and it was essentially a case of ‘Lust at first sight’.

After that life became complicated and interesting for a while, as we were both already married and Marika had a daughter, Vicky. In the summer of 1964, we set off from Montreal in a 1958 Chev on a three-and-a-half-week, 9000-mile driving holiday: Montreal, Winnepeg, Banff, Vancouver, Seattle, San Francisco, Yosemite, Nevada, Chicago, Niagra Falls, Montreal. We had one Texaco credit card, spent 27 dollars on accommodation including one-night hotel stays in San Francisco, Chicago, and the mid-west. In Chicago we saw Oscar Peterson and his trio at the London House. For $2.50 each, we sat 10 feet away from him and each had a B&B – quite amazing and unforgettable.

What did I learn on this trip? That Marika was easy to talk to and had a wonderful sense of humour, that she was an intellectual, and that when she was hungry, you got her and food together at the very first opportunity and not 30 miles down the highway. She was into Archeology at this point and walked on mountain slopes looking down for Indian Arrowheads, unsuccessfully. One of her many talents was to go into our antiquated tent wearing Jeans or shorts and come out 10 minutes later looking like a fashion queen. She looked fantastic if we stayed in the tent too! It became quite clear that we wanted to spend our lives together. Eventually, after some difficulties and challenging legal proceedings courtesy of Quebec, we were married in Montreal on July 23rd, 1966 and did just that.

Marika’s next interests were birding and pottery. Birding became an obsession and typically she was not simply a twitcher (a lister), but took an advanced correspondence course in Ornithology offered by Cornell University. She quickly became a hot-shot authority on birding.

On November 26th, 1969, Mark arrived early in the morning, much to Vicky’s chagrin. He too was loved and cherished, and with Vicky to translate his weird sounds, did not speak coherently until he was 2-and-a-half when in the Laurentians, north of Montreal, he said, “Shut up, you stupid Jays.” Indeed they were very noisy at the time. Our next cross-Canada trip saw Marika trying to look up for birds and down for artifacts at the same time. Birds won out. By this time, we were really organized, well-equipped campers, with good tents and clothing, and 2 Coleman stoves for cooking excellent meals.

After I got an M.A. and a pay raise, Marika went back to the University of Montreal and took an M.A. in History of Science (in French, her 3rd language), and then continued her History of Science studies at McGill, taking a Ph.D.

Eventually she was appointed Principal of Simone de Beauvoir Institute of Women’s Studies at Concordia University. This was when her academic influence and feminist interests really expanded and she was able to help a lot of people. However, it was a demanding job and she had to deal with some difficult personalities and dynamics. At once tense meeting, with motions flying around all over the place, she exclaimed, “I’m getting motion sickness”. As could be expected, this defused the situation.

When I retired from teaching at the end of 1994, Marika obtained a job to be the first Chair of Women’s Studies at UNBC starting in 1995. We were glad to be out of Quebec just before Parizeau’s referendum and in Prince George, with its wonderfully kind and caring community. Once again, though, Marika had difficult dynamics to contend with at UNBC. She could and did help many people, and to help herself, she took up painting with the energy, enthusiasm, and ability that she brought to all her pursuits.

We were in Victoria for only 4 and a half years, and people here might not realize how we both formerly had a lot more energy in Prince George. Marika quickly made, as always, many friends in different areas of life and additionally became part of a wonderful painting group, The Madronas, here at the Goward House, where she requested to have this celebration of her life. She was always very happy painting here with a wonderful group of women in a beautiful natural setting.

Over the years, we had many holiday trips, camping in the East and West, and also visiting Europe, Sweden in particular. We also made four trips to Australia, two to New Zealand, and one to Fiji. Our last holiday, which rivaled the success of our first one, was a 2-week Alaskan Cruise which we both enjoyed enormously. Marika was seemingly fit, enthusiastic as always, and looked fantastic as the dated August 5th photo clearly illustrates.

A few weeks after our return, she was admitted to hospital. During her last days, she still ran the show, indicating where paintings, cards, and pictures should be placed. She talked beyond her strength, but as always communicated superbly. Mercifully, her intellectual ability remained, and it is worth mentioning that she had an in-depth knowledge of archeology, anthropology, ornithology, philosophy, chemistry, literature, languages, pottery, painting, classical music, opera, jazz, and photography. She was a true pantheist and loved nature to the fullest.

In her final days, tributes and comments poured in and some of these comments were repeated: “zest for life”, “caring”, “sympathetic”, “encouraging”, “inspiring”, “vibrant nature,” “vivacious.” She had the same restless energy as did William Rowan, about whom she wrote a biography with that title. Perhaps one day, someone will write a book on Marika’s life. It would be a rich topic with no shortage of subject matter in many areas.

At this point, I would like to propose a toast to Marika.

You made a difference living life to the fullest;
You did it your way, and your way was fantastic.
Thank you for everything.
Well done, Marika!
Thank you!